New Amazon best-selling memoir details author’s journey from an abusive childhood to homelessness to redemption
For Immediate Release (Lynchburg, VA) — In the new #1 Amazon best-selling memoir, “An Orphan in the House of God,” author Craig Daliessio shares the chaotic and dysfunctional childhood that he describes as an “emotional orphanage.” Raised by a narcissistic mother and an angry stepfather, Daliessio didn’t know his biological father— who subsequently rejected him—until later in life. Crediting his grandmother and their local church for keeping him from despair and suicide, Daliessio says his earthly father figures warped his view of God.
“My stepfather —who I was told was my father— entered my life when I was four years old,” says Daliessio. “From the very first encounter with him, I was scared to death of him. Until I was about 15, I thought he would eventually kill me. He was perpetually angry. His anger, coupled with his distance and aloofness, caused me to see God the same way. We all project our earthly fathers onto our Heavenly Father. Later, when I found out my biological father, and especially as I pursued a relationship with him, I saw God as rejecting me the way my own dad did. My biological dad was a great man…college athlete, war hero, doctoral degree. A great husband and father to his family. His rejection of me would have made sense if he had been a Hell’s Angel or a vagrant. But he was by all accounts a truly great man and because he rejected me, I believed it must be because of me. I started projecting that onto God. I didn’t think God recognized me as His son and that He was embarrassed by my existence. I felt completely alone.”
Daliessio says it was a character in a classic novel that gave him a light bulb moment.
"I spent 50 years of my Christian life wondering what was wrong with me...why it felt as if God didn't love me as much as He loved His other children,” says Daliessio. “Then as I was reading Dicken's ‘Oliver Twist’ and I came to the scene where Oliver asks for ‘More’ because he was literally starving to death on the meager food they gave him. I gasped because that was how I saw my own spiritual life. I realized I was that in my heart I was an orphan, and that my childhood had reinforced that belief."
Daliessio also shares in the book about the years of his life when he was homeless and living in his car, yet still leaning on his faith.
“When I went through a soul-crushing divorce, I looked for some resources for divorced men, written from a Christian perspective, but I just couldn’t find much,” says Daliessio. “Divorced men are relegated to the desert in the church. I knew in my soul that I was in for a hard road, and I also knew that if I didn’t purposefully run TO God, I would run from Him. I had lost my job, my home, my marriage, and my fatherhood—which I treasure more than anything else on earth— was limited to once a week and every other weekend. I was alone, 850 miles from my lifelong friends, and I had to weather this storm on my own. I knew that I could either stay close to God and rely on my faith—tattered and jagged around the edges as it might be— or crawl into a bottle or stick a gun in my mouth. The pain and heartache really revealed more about God to me than the easy times.”
Daliessio says he hopes “An Orphan in the House of God” helps other people who grew up in abusive or dysfunctional families understand they are not alone.
"Some people remain dangerous to us, and we have to set limits and boundaries," says Daliessio. "But we can still choose to forgive them. It also doesn't mean we forget. Recounting my childhood — and especially seeing how it affected me long into my adult years—could have led me to bitterness. But allowing that would have meant the continuation of the abuse, except the wounds would have been self-inflicted. My mother is still alive, but we have not spoken in 18 years. I have no ill will at all. If I found out she was homeless or hungry, I would make calls and make sure she had shelter and food. But the relationship is harmful to me and my daughter, and I have a duty to protect her, and myself. But I still forgive my mother. I have to. Otherwise, all this is for naught and it's just a different kind of captivity."
About Craig Daliessio:
Craig Daliessio is the author of six previous books including “A Ragamuffin’s Christmas,” “Nowhere to Lay My Head,” and “Sometimes Daddies Cry: What a Dad Really Feels about Divorce. ” He has a B.S. degree from Liberty University in Religion and is an award-winning mortgage banker. He lives with his daughter in Lynchburg, Virginia. Visit www.craigdaliessio.com.
“My stepfather —who I was told was my father— entered my life when I was four years old,” says Daliessio. “From the very first encounter with him, I was scared to death of him. Until I was about 15, I thought he would eventually kill me. He was perpetually angry. His anger, coupled with his distance and aloofness, caused me to see God the same way. We all project our earthly fathers onto our Heavenly Father. Later, when I found out my biological father, and especially as I pursued a relationship with him, I saw God as rejecting me the way my own dad did. My biological dad was a great man…college athlete, war hero, doctoral degree. A great husband and father to his family. His rejection of me would have made sense if he had been a Hell’s Angel or a vagrant. But he was by all accounts a truly great man and because he rejected me, I believed it must be because of me. I started projecting that onto God. I didn’t think God recognized me as His son and that He was embarrassed by my existence. I felt completely alone.”
Daliessio says it was a character in a classic novel that gave him a light bulb moment.
"I spent 50 years of my Christian life wondering what was wrong with me...why it felt as if God didn't love me as much as He loved His other children,” says Daliessio. “Then as I was reading Dicken's ‘Oliver Twist’ and I came to the scene where Oliver asks for ‘More’ because he was literally starving to death on the meager food they gave him. I gasped because that was how I saw my own spiritual life. I realized I was that in my heart I was an orphan, and that my childhood had reinforced that belief."
Daliessio also shares in the book about the years of his life when he was homeless and living in his car, yet still leaning on his faith.
“When I went through a soul-crushing divorce, I looked for some resources for divorced men, written from a Christian perspective, but I just couldn’t find much,” says Daliessio. “Divorced men are relegated to the desert in the church. I knew in my soul that I was in for a hard road, and I also knew that if I didn’t purposefully run TO God, I would run from Him. I had lost my job, my home, my marriage, and my fatherhood—which I treasure more than anything else on earth— was limited to once a week and every other weekend. I was alone, 850 miles from my lifelong friends, and I had to weather this storm on my own. I knew that I could either stay close to God and rely on my faith—tattered and jagged around the edges as it might be— or crawl into a bottle or stick a gun in my mouth. The pain and heartache really revealed more about God to me than the easy times.”
Daliessio says he hopes “An Orphan in the House of God” helps other people who grew up in abusive or dysfunctional families understand they are not alone.
"Some people remain dangerous to us, and we have to set limits and boundaries," says Daliessio. "But we can still choose to forgive them. It also doesn't mean we forget. Recounting my childhood — and especially seeing how it affected me long into my adult years—could have led me to bitterness. But allowing that would have meant the continuation of the abuse, except the wounds would have been self-inflicted. My mother is still alive, but we have not spoken in 18 years. I have no ill will at all. If I found out she was homeless or hungry, I would make calls and make sure she had shelter and food. But the relationship is harmful to me and my daughter, and I have a duty to protect her, and myself. But I still forgive my mother. I have to. Otherwise, all this is for naught and it's just a different kind of captivity."
About Craig Daliessio:
Craig Daliessio is the author of six previous books including “A Ragamuffin’s Christmas,” “Nowhere to Lay My Head,” and “Sometimes Daddies Cry: What a Dad Really Feels about Divorce. ” He has a B.S. degree from Liberty University in Religion and is an award-winning mortgage banker. He lives with his daughter in Lynchburg, Virginia. Visit www.craigdaliessio.com.