Q&A with Bob Lenz
Author of "18: Faith for the Next Generation"
Q: Tell us about the concept behind the new book and the meaning behind the title, “18: Faith for the Next Generation.”
A: Statistics show that less than 18% of youth under 18 are in church on a Sunday morning (Barna). If we don’t reach this next generation for Christ before they turn 18, the chances are great they will never embrace Christianity. This book was written to help offer parents and grandparents some basic principles and practices so that they can pass their faith along to their children before they leave home. We need to get the bad taste out of our mouth about evangelism. Evangelism has become a dirty word, even inside the church walls. A lot of people don’t think they have the gift of evangelism. Evangelism is really a responsibility we all share. But how do we do it in everyday life? That’s why we wrote this book.
Q: What practical ideas for parents are included in the book?
A: What’s really cool about this book is that my co-author Rich Melheim and I come from different backgrounds. Rich comes from a Lutheran background, and even though I was raised Catholic, I have raised all my kids in an evangelical non-denominational church. As we came together to create 18 practical ideas to share Christ with our kids, we realized how much we had in common. We came up with ideas such as practicing what we call radical hospitality, sharing highs and lows, taking mission trips together, and other useful tools that help adults live out their faith in front of their children in everyday life.
Q: Is there a particular age group that you believe is the most vulnerable when it comes to losing their faith?
A: From my experience, the vulnerable age is earlier than it used to be. Many students used to go away to college and that’s generally where their faith would fall by the wayside. But now, even middle school kids are giving up on church as youth group numbers continue to plummet. We can help reverse this trend by making sure our children are not experiencing a religion of rules, but instead are having real encounters with the living God of the universe. Churches need to also make sure they are not just entertaining our youth, but teaching them necessary disciplines so that they can grow in their faith.
Q: One of the chapters is called "Be a Prodigal Parent." What do you mean by that?
A: Sometimes Christian parents will refer to a child as a prodigal, meaning the child is wandering or lost. But that’s not what the word means. The word ‘prodigal’ means ‘lavish,’ ‘recklessly’ or ‘with abandon.’ Jesus said that when the son was a ‘long way off,’ his father was filled with compassion. We need to be parents like that father. We need to love our kids back into the faith instead of resorting to pressure, anger, shame or force. We need to be prodigal parents who, like that dad in the parable, kept his nose against the window and kept looking for his son ‘with abandon.’ And when his son returned, the father was ready to welcome him back and ‘lavish’ him with gifts and, most importantly, love. We need to learn to train our hearts to welcome our kids back to the faith in their own time, and find a loving way to let them know they are always welcome.
A: Statistics show that less than 18% of youth under 18 are in church on a Sunday morning (Barna). If we don’t reach this next generation for Christ before they turn 18, the chances are great they will never embrace Christianity. This book was written to help offer parents and grandparents some basic principles and practices so that they can pass their faith along to their children before they leave home. We need to get the bad taste out of our mouth about evangelism. Evangelism has become a dirty word, even inside the church walls. A lot of people don’t think they have the gift of evangelism. Evangelism is really a responsibility we all share. But how do we do it in everyday life? That’s why we wrote this book.
Q: What practical ideas for parents are included in the book?
A: What’s really cool about this book is that my co-author Rich Melheim and I come from different backgrounds. Rich comes from a Lutheran background, and even though I was raised Catholic, I have raised all my kids in an evangelical non-denominational church. As we came together to create 18 practical ideas to share Christ with our kids, we realized how much we had in common. We came up with ideas such as practicing what we call radical hospitality, sharing highs and lows, taking mission trips together, and other useful tools that help adults live out their faith in front of their children in everyday life.
Q: Is there a particular age group that you believe is the most vulnerable when it comes to losing their faith?
A: From my experience, the vulnerable age is earlier than it used to be. Many students used to go away to college and that’s generally where their faith would fall by the wayside. But now, even middle school kids are giving up on church as youth group numbers continue to plummet. We can help reverse this trend by making sure our children are not experiencing a religion of rules, but instead are having real encounters with the living God of the universe. Churches need to also make sure they are not just entertaining our youth, but teaching them necessary disciplines so that they can grow in their faith.
Q: One of the chapters is called "Be a Prodigal Parent." What do you mean by that?
A: Sometimes Christian parents will refer to a child as a prodigal, meaning the child is wandering or lost. But that’s not what the word means. The word ‘prodigal’ means ‘lavish,’ ‘recklessly’ or ‘with abandon.’ Jesus said that when the son was a ‘long way off,’ his father was filled with compassion. We need to be parents like that father. We need to love our kids back into the faith instead of resorting to pressure, anger, shame or force. We need to be prodigal parents who, like that dad in the parable, kept his nose against the window and kept looking for his son ‘with abandon.’ And when his son returned, the father was ready to welcome him back and ‘lavish’ him with gifts and, most importantly, love. We need to learn to train our hearts to welcome our kids back to the faith in their own time, and find a loving way to let them know they are always welcome.
Q: What can parents do when kids won't communicate with them or push them away?
A: I think this is why this book is so important for every parent and grandparent. We talk about doing 18 minutes of communication each night, including sharing ‘highs and lows.’ Human beings need to process the good and the bad in their lives. But even using this method they are going to push away at times. My son Tim would sometimes say, ‘My low today is doing highs and lows. My high is that highs and lows are now over.’ And that is all he would share. It was his way of pushing us away. But we established a line of communication, and our kids knew when hard times came into their lives that I would still be there for them. It used to be that the neighborhood, parents, extended family, friends, newspaper, television, and the church were all going the same direction. We now have many entities pulling our children in very different directions. This is why I think community – a small group, church, youth group -- are more valuable than ever. Parents shouldn’t have to do this all alone. Ultimately, we have to trust our children to God. They are not ours. If your kids stay in their faith, don’t take too much credit. If your kids walk away, don’t take too much blame. There was only one perfect parent and it was God. He had two kids, Adam and Eve, and look how they turned out.
Q: What can ministry and church leaders do to keep this current generation from leaving the faith?
A: I was a youth pastor for over seven years and I had a big sign in my office that said, “Youth: Challenge them or lose them.” So often our churches entertain students to they keep coming, but the result is we create seekers instead of disciples. I think we have to turn that corner. I am all about getting the attention of our youth, but for what purpose? We need to get our students involved in training younger kids, volunteering, going on mission trips and participating in training the next generation -- ministry for youth by youth. I think we have made things too easy and kids get bored. And let’s face the fact that we won’t ever keep up with the entertainment the rest of the world offers. We need to help them make mission and hospitality a way of life, and motivate them to want to share their faith with somebody else. They need to be taught how and why to have a relationship with Christ and to really understand what that means in their lives. Research shows that two out of three people who come to Christ do so before reaching 18 years of age. We have got to get serious if we don’t want to lose this next generation.
A: I think this is why this book is so important for every parent and grandparent. We talk about doing 18 minutes of communication each night, including sharing ‘highs and lows.’ Human beings need to process the good and the bad in their lives. But even using this method they are going to push away at times. My son Tim would sometimes say, ‘My low today is doing highs and lows. My high is that highs and lows are now over.’ And that is all he would share. It was his way of pushing us away. But we established a line of communication, and our kids knew when hard times came into their lives that I would still be there for them. It used to be that the neighborhood, parents, extended family, friends, newspaper, television, and the church were all going the same direction. We now have many entities pulling our children in very different directions. This is why I think community – a small group, church, youth group -- are more valuable than ever. Parents shouldn’t have to do this all alone. Ultimately, we have to trust our children to God. They are not ours. If your kids stay in their faith, don’t take too much credit. If your kids walk away, don’t take too much blame. There was only one perfect parent and it was God. He had two kids, Adam and Eve, and look how they turned out.
Q: What can ministry and church leaders do to keep this current generation from leaving the faith?
A: I was a youth pastor for over seven years and I had a big sign in my office that said, “Youth: Challenge them or lose them.” So often our churches entertain students to they keep coming, but the result is we create seekers instead of disciples. I think we have to turn that corner. I am all about getting the attention of our youth, but for what purpose? We need to get our students involved in training younger kids, volunteering, going on mission trips and participating in training the next generation -- ministry for youth by youth. I think we have made things too easy and kids get bored. And let’s face the fact that we won’t ever keep up with the entertainment the rest of the world offers. We need to help them make mission and hospitality a way of life, and motivate them to want to share their faith with somebody else. They need to be taught how and why to have a relationship with Christ and to really understand what that means in their lives. Research shows that two out of three people who come to Christ do so before reaching 18 years of age. We have got to get serious if we don’t want to lose this next generation.
About Bob Lenz:
Bob Lenz speaks to over 500,000 people each year through community outreaches, festivals, school assemblies, church events, tours and conferences. Lenz is a sought-after school speaker for programs on anti-bullying and suicide prevention. Bob is part of the Next Generation Alliance, spearheaded by the Luis Palau organization, which trains evangelists across the globe. He has worked with numerous national organizations including MADD, Boys and Girls Clubs, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, Youth Encounter, Young Life, NFL Chaplains, among many others. He has headlined tours with Grammy-nominated band, The Newsboys, and been the featured speaker at numerous festivals including AtlantaFest, Creation, Rock the Desert, and many others. His organization, Life Promotions, is a non-profit organization that birthed the annual Lifest event which hosts over 60,000 people for a time of music and teaching in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. In the last two years, Lifest has grown to include international locations in Haiti and Peru. For more information visit www.LifePromotions.org.