Q&A with Shad Arnold
Author of "Claire's Dad: How I Earned the Title"
Q: What inspired you to write “Clarie’s Dad”?
A: Over the years, a number of friends, family, and colleagues have commented on certain aspects of the relationship that exists between Claire and I, or upon hearing of a specific thing that I do with or for her; and have stated “You should write that down…”, “You should create a Father-Daughter Blog…”, or “You should write a book about how you’ve raised Claire.” Funny, because although I have many other books I want to write, I didn’t really consider this one of them – it just happened. Returning from Claire’s college after moving her into the dorm, attending parent’s day, and more, all of the emotions, thoughts, dreams and more of our life together just landed on my heart, so I decided to record them by writing a few things down. One thought became a chapter, then another, and another. A few days later, Janelle (my wife) said “Maybe this is a book.”
Q: Why is a father so crucial to a daughter's upbringing?
A: It is a critical relationship that cannot be discounted. Girls need mom too, but it is no more or less important than the role of father. In the post-women’s liberation of America, society has been sold the success story of the split-family dynamic through all forms of media – telling men specifically – that in our “modern and enlightened age” girls will grow up just fine in a single-parent home. We are told that mom is exceptional and fully capable of caring, providing, and growing a daughter on her own, and dad is not a necessity. The reality is that women are exceptional, capable, caring, and will continue to provide for their children as they have since the beginning of time, but doing so without dad is like baking bread without yeast, or trying to play golf without clubs. Girls need dad to invest time, demonstrate love, stand strong, impart wisdom, and so much more into their lives. Along the way, they will learn to respect themselves and others – and not look for approval, love, or respect from other people or places that may be unhealthy.
Q: How do you believe absent or disinterested fathers affect society?
A: Absent or disinterested fathers are a preventable disease that is negatively affecting our society today. Without the desire to prevent or cure it, their absence or disinterest will kill the spirit of their little girl, and send her into society’s arms with deep sadness and loss that they will seek to repair and fill in other unhealthy ways. The life-history of so many women today includes this loss and pain. Victimized by a father who simply was not there, or a father who was inattentive and did not connect, the experience creates a sharp double-edged sword that stabs into the heart and lives of little girls that grow up to be women who are missing a necessary piece of themselves.
A: Over the years, a number of friends, family, and colleagues have commented on certain aspects of the relationship that exists between Claire and I, or upon hearing of a specific thing that I do with or for her; and have stated “You should write that down…”, “You should create a Father-Daughter Blog…”, or “You should write a book about how you’ve raised Claire.” Funny, because although I have many other books I want to write, I didn’t really consider this one of them – it just happened. Returning from Claire’s college after moving her into the dorm, attending parent’s day, and more, all of the emotions, thoughts, dreams and more of our life together just landed on my heart, so I decided to record them by writing a few things down. One thought became a chapter, then another, and another. A few days later, Janelle (my wife) said “Maybe this is a book.”
Q: Why is a father so crucial to a daughter's upbringing?
A: It is a critical relationship that cannot be discounted. Girls need mom too, but it is no more or less important than the role of father. In the post-women’s liberation of America, society has been sold the success story of the split-family dynamic through all forms of media – telling men specifically – that in our “modern and enlightened age” girls will grow up just fine in a single-parent home. We are told that mom is exceptional and fully capable of caring, providing, and growing a daughter on her own, and dad is not a necessity. The reality is that women are exceptional, capable, caring, and will continue to provide for their children as they have since the beginning of time, but doing so without dad is like baking bread without yeast, or trying to play golf without clubs. Girls need dad to invest time, demonstrate love, stand strong, impart wisdom, and so much more into their lives. Along the way, they will learn to respect themselves and others – and not look for approval, love, or respect from other people or places that may be unhealthy.
Q: How do you believe absent or disinterested fathers affect society?
A: Absent or disinterested fathers are a preventable disease that is negatively affecting our society today. Without the desire to prevent or cure it, their absence or disinterest will kill the spirit of their little girl, and send her into society’s arms with deep sadness and loss that they will seek to repair and fill in other unhealthy ways. The life-history of so many women today includes this loss and pain. Victimized by a father who simply was not there, or a father who was inattentive and did not connect, the experience creates a sharp double-edged sword that stabs into the heart and lives of little girls that grow up to be women who are missing a necessary piece of themselves.
Q: If you could give all fathers 3 pieces of advice for raising girls, what would those be?
A: 1.) Give her your time, your heart, and your respect. 2.) Introduce her to Jesus, pray with her, and demonstrate humility as you serve Him and others. 3.) Hold fast and never give up! Don’t let her go. When the storm of the teenage years hits your family’s ship, hold on to the foundations you’ve put in place to see you through. Be her dad. As the years pass, each and every man who strives to be a loving, faithful, heroic father to his daughter will trip, stumble, and even fail miserably along the way in some area. That is normal. That is life. What distinguishes “dad” from the average man, is that he refuses to give up. The dad who strives to earn the title holds fast and never gives up, because he knows there is more at stake now than ever before. Society, with all of its amoral strategies and experiences, is knocking, pounding, and kicking-in the door of our daughters’ hearts – attempting to tear down the foundations of her heart, soul, and mind. As fathers, we earn the title by refusing to give up when it seems an impossible tide; we refuse to give up when our daughters walk away; and we make hard decisions that define our relationship and commitment to her.
Q: What was the most difficult thing to share in the book?
A: In chapter 7, there are two sections called “When You Fail – Because You Will” and “Humility, Confession, Apologies: The Rock-Solid Proof You’re Real And Not A Hypocrite”. Although a few people I know who have read the book commented to me how “real” and “good” it was to have in the book, and appreciated the last paragraph— for me it was embarrassing to share, but I knew it was necessary. Sometimes we mess up as fathers, as husbands, as people. But we confess to our families when we fail and ask for forgiveness.
A: 1.) Give her your time, your heart, and your respect. 2.) Introduce her to Jesus, pray with her, and demonstrate humility as you serve Him and others. 3.) Hold fast and never give up! Don’t let her go. When the storm of the teenage years hits your family’s ship, hold on to the foundations you’ve put in place to see you through. Be her dad. As the years pass, each and every man who strives to be a loving, faithful, heroic father to his daughter will trip, stumble, and even fail miserably along the way in some area. That is normal. That is life. What distinguishes “dad” from the average man, is that he refuses to give up. The dad who strives to earn the title holds fast and never gives up, because he knows there is more at stake now than ever before. Society, with all of its amoral strategies and experiences, is knocking, pounding, and kicking-in the door of our daughters’ hearts – attempting to tear down the foundations of her heart, soul, and mind. As fathers, we earn the title by refusing to give up when it seems an impossible tide; we refuse to give up when our daughters walk away; and we make hard decisions that define our relationship and commitment to her.
Q: What was the most difficult thing to share in the book?
A: In chapter 7, there are two sections called “When You Fail – Because You Will” and “Humility, Confession, Apologies: The Rock-Solid Proof You’re Real And Not A Hypocrite”. Although a few people I know who have read the book commented to me how “real” and “good” it was to have in the book, and appreciated the last paragraph— for me it was embarrassing to share, but I knew it was necessary. Sometimes we mess up as fathers, as husbands, as people. But we confess to our families when we fail and ask for forgiveness.
Q: A portion of the sales of the book go to the Novitas Foundation. Talk about your work there.
A: As an entrepreneur and founding partner in a number of businesses, and with over 30 years of volunteer service and management experience, I searched for a global initiative that would merge my business and volunteer life experience with innovative developmental strategies. When I didn't find exactly what I was looking for, I determined to begin something entirely new and launched Novitas Foundation in 2013. Simply put, Novitas Foundation is a 501(c), (3) Non-Profit/NGO public charity that is entirely focused on real people in need, meaningful change, and sustainable results around the world. As a public charity, Novitas Foundation is establishing something new – creating new foundations through relief, innovation, and sustainable development on which people, places, and communities worldwide can build a better future. Our volunteer team has traveled to 17 countries over the years – most recently working in Cuba to fund and provide for educational initiatives, well water pumps, and various building projects; in Mexico to build a 30,000 gallon water storage tank in a small mountain village above Oaxaca; and working with a food partner here in the U.S., we packaged and shipped over 570,000 Children’s Nutritional Meals into North Korea following a typhoon. I then traveled through a number of Northern Provinces of North Korea to oversee and document the specific distribution of the Humanitarian Aid from three Provincial Children’s Hospitals. Our businesses support Novitas Foundation, a number of our clients and colleagues do as well, and I am always looking for additional ways to provide for our work, so a portion of all Claire’s Dad book sales, speaking engagements, and promotional events are donated to Novitas Foundation to grow our ability to reach more in need around the world.
A: As an entrepreneur and founding partner in a number of businesses, and with over 30 years of volunteer service and management experience, I searched for a global initiative that would merge my business and volunteer life experience with innovative developmental strategies. When I didn't find exactly what I was looking for, I determined to begin something entirely new and launched Novitas Foundation in 2013. Simply put, Novitas Foundation is a 501(c), (3) Non-Profit/NGO public charity that is entirely focused on real people in need, meaningful change, and sustainable results around the world. As a public charity, Novitas Foundation is establishing something new – creating new foundations through relief, innovation, and sustainable development on which people, places, and communities worldwide can build a better future. Our volunteer team has traveled to 17 countries over the years – most recently working in Cuba to fund and provide for educational initiatives, well water pumps, and various building projects; in Mexico to build a 30,000 gallon water storage tank in a small mountain village above Oaxaca; and working with a food partner here in the U.S., we packaged and shipped over 570,000 Children’s Nutritional Meals into North Korea following a typhoon. I then traveled through a number of Northern Provinces of North Korea to oversee and document the specific distribution of the Humanitarian Aid from three Provincial Children’s Hospitals. Our businesses support Novitas Foundation, a number of our clients and colleagues do as well, and I am always looking for additional ways to provide for our work, so a portion of all Claire’s Dad book sales, speaking engagements, and promotional events are donated to Novitas Foundation to grow our ability to reach more in need around the world.
About Shad Arnold:
Shad Arnold is an author, entrepreneur, inventor, strategic consultant, public speaker and humanitarian who has founded three companies and two non-profit charities. He has worked as a volunteer and advocate for children for over 30 years. He currently serves as the International Executive Director of Novitas Foundation, the charitable organization he founded in 2013, volunteering his time to raise funds and directly oversee relief and sustainable development initiatives to benefit children in need around the world. Visit www.NovitasFoundation.org or www.ShadArnold.com for more information.