Q&A with Kris Reece
Author of "Make it Matter: A Roadmap for Living a Life of Purpose"
Q: What motivated you to write this book?
A: For years I lived a life that I thought was purposeful. I had it all. A big beautiful house, a wonderful daughter, a thriving business and more vacations than I could take. But I always felt like there was something missing. I hated getting up every morning only to go to bed every night wondering if what I did and who I was even mattered. It all felt empty. I prayed and prayed and God revealed that I was not living the purposeful life for which he created me. I was torn between living a good life and starting over with the chance of living a great life. But I remember the day that changed everything. It was a beautiful sunny morning on the third day of my honeymoon. But instead of being overcome with joy, I was face down on the floor sobbing. Not exactly the scene a husband wants to see from his new bride, but I just couldn’t contain the turmoil going on inside of me any longer. Just earlier that morning that nagging question popped into my head again “is this all there is?” Don’t get me wrong, it had nothing to do with my wonderful new husband. It had everything to do with how unfulfilled I felt in life. I started off on the treadmill, hit the play list on my iPod and started bopping along to the first song the came up. “Pack my bags and my regrets, every moment that I’ve wasted chasing after my pursuit of happiness has only left me searching, there must be more…” By this point my run slowed to a walk as I listened to this vocalist sing the words that my heart couldn’t express. “Take my life and lift me up to the skies, take my dreams and help me to fly on the wings of possibility, come rewrite my history, ‘til it’s only you I’m chasing after, take this life and make it matter.” Natalie Grant summarized the cry of my heart in 3 short minutes. It was in that moment that I realized that the big house, the fancy cars, the successful business didn’t matter— I wanted my life to matter. From that moment on, I was on a mission. I was on a mission to discover what God created me to be. I discovered who I was, what God created me to be and do. With my new found excitement and my education in helping women to overcome their obstacles in life, Make it Matter was born.
Q: You go into depth about what purpose is and what purpose is not, why is that definition important?
A: Many people have the wrong definition of purpose, and spend a life time pursuing things that lead nowhere. The enemy's #1 target is the believer’s calling. He knows he can't steal your salvation, but if he can keep you trapped in confusion and distraction, he knows that he can keep you from hearing those wonderful words "Well done.”
Q: In your experience as a life coach/counselor, what do you find are the main stumbling blocks to people knowing their purpose?
A: There are two key stumbling blocks that keep people from knowing their purpose. One is the opinions and expectations of others. Many people have been brainwashed by others to think that they are limited or supposed to be doing life a certain way. You can know your purpose, but if you're hindered by the opinion of others, you will never have the courage to step out into it. There will always be critics out there, but God gave us a purpose before anyone had an opinion. Number two is their ‘But.’ The word ‘but’ is the biggest stumbling block and faith-killer. If you discover your purpose, yet each discovery is followed up with 'but,' you will kill your purpose before it ever gets off the ground. The most common ‘buts’ are: “but I don’t have the money, but I don't want to go back to school, but I have small kids, but my husband may not agree…” and the list goes on. If I can get someone to see that with God all of their ‘buts' are conquerable than everything becomes possible for them.
A: For years I lived a life that I thought was purposeful. I had it all. A big beautiful house, a wonderful daughter, a thriving business and more vacations than I could take. But I always felt like there was something missing. I hated getting up every morning only to go to bed every night wondering if what I did and who I was even mattered. It all felt empty. I prayed and prayed and God revealed that I was not living the purposeful life for which he created me. I was torn between living a good life and starting over with the chance of living a great life. But I remember the day that changed everything. It was a beautiful sunny morning on the third day of my honeymoon. But instead of being overcome with joy, I was face down on the floor sobbing. Not exactly the scene a husband wants to see from his new bride, but I just couldn’t contain the turmoil going on inside of me any longer. Just earlier that morning that nagging question popped into my head again “is this all there is?” Don’t get me wrong, it had nothing to do with my wonderful new husband. It had everything to do with how unfulfilled I felt in life. I started off on the treadmill, hit the play list on my iPod and started bopping along to the first song the came up. “Pack my bags and my regrets, every moment that I’ve wasted chasing after my pursuit of happiness has only left me searching, there must be more…” By this point my run slowed to a walk as I listened to this vocalist sing the words that my heart couldn’t express. “Take my life and lift me up to the skies, take my dreams and help me to fly on the wings of possibility, come rewrite my history, ‘til it’s only you I’m chasing after, take this life and make it matter.” Natalie Grant summarized the cry of my heart in 3 short minutes. It was in that moment that I realized that the big house, the fancy cars, the successful business didn’t matter— I wanted my life to matter. From that moment on, I was on a mission. I was on a mission to discover what God created me to be. I discovered who I was, what God created me to be and do. With my new found excitement and my education in helping women to overcome their obstacles in life, Make it Matter was born.
Q: You go into depth about what purpose is and what purpose is not, why is that definition important?
A: Many people have the wrong definition of purpose, and spend a life time pursuing things that lead nowhere. The enemy's #1 target is the believer’s calling. He knows he can't steal your salvation, but if he can keep you trapped in confusion and distraction, he knows that he can keep you from hearing those wonderful words "Well done.”
Q: In your experience as a life coach/counselor, what do you find are the main stumbling blocks to people knowing their purpose?
A: There are two key stumbling blocks that keep people from knowing their purpose. One is the opinions and expectations of others. Many people have been brainwashed by others to think that they are limited or supposed to be doing life a certain way. You can know your purpose, but if you're hindered by the opinion of others, you will never have the courage to step out into it. There will always be critics out there, but God gave us a purpose before anyone had an opinion. Number two is their ‘But.’ The word ‘but’ is the biggest stumbling block and faith-killer. If you discover your purpose, yet each discovery is followed up with 'but,' you will kill your purpose before it ever gets off the ground. The most common ‘buts’ are: “but I don’t have the money, but I don't want to go back to school, but I have small kids, but my husband may not agree…” and the list goes on. If I can get someone to see that with God all of their ‘buts' are conquerable than everything becomes possible for them.
Q: You talk about people renewing their minds. Why is that necessary?
A: EVERYTHING BEGINS IN THE MIND. If you can't believe in your mind something is possible, then it won't be. I'm not referring to positive self-talk. I'm talking about creating a new life story by renewing your mind. Actions emanate from thoughts. Behavioral changes are just temporary. Renewing your mind is crucial to overcoming the negative thought patterns that quickly turn toxic. When toxic, thoughts can destroy relationships and kill potential. No amount of outside encouragement can overcome stinkin’ thinkin’.
Q: Do you believe a person's purpose changes during their lifetime? Why or why not?
A: No, I don't believe a person's purpose changes, but what does change is how they express that purpose. A woman can be created to help others through challenging times (a very general high level purpose), but how she walks that out is just an extension of the greater purpose. For one season in her life she could be raising children (in which case, her purpose is a strength) at another she could be called into ministry. At another stage of her life, she could find herself at a job that uses her high level purpose. Careers change, purpose doesn't. Many believe that their purpose is their career, it's not. Purpose is just an extension of your career— it's one way to express your purpose.
Q: What are two of the most important things you recommend for people who do not know their purpose?
A: The most important are to 1) discover you. Take the time to get to know who you are, what your temperament is, what are your likes, dislikes, passions and pains. God created you very unique (Psalm 139:13), so to understand your purpose, you must understand how you're made. 2) Discover God. Without an understanding of who God is, you will never find purpose. You may find something you enjoy or get paid well to do it, but there will always be something missing. In order to live a life of peace and purpose, it's crucial to have a personal relationship with the God who created you.
A: EVERYTHING BEGINS IN THE MIND. If you can't believe in your mind something is possible, then it won't be. I'm not referring to positive self-talk. I'm talking about creating a new life story by renewing your mind. Actions emanate from thoughts. Behavioral changes are just temporary. Renewing your mind is crucial to overcoming the negative thought patterns that quickly turn toxic. When toxic, thoughts can destroy relationships and kill potential. No amount of outside encouragement can overcome stinkin’ thinkin’.
Q: Do you believe a person's purpose changes during their lifetime? Why or why not?
A: No, I don't believe a person's purpose changes, but what does change is how they express that purpose. A woman can be created to help others through challenging times (a very general high level purpose), but how she walks that out is just an extension of the greater purpose. For one season in her life she could be raising children (in which case, her purpose is a strength) at another she could be called into ministry. At another stage of her life, she could find herself at a job that uses her high level purpose. Careers change, purpose doesn't. Many believe that their purpose is their career, it's not. Purpose is just an extension of your career— it's one way to express your purpose.
Q: What are two of the most important things you recommend for people who do not know their purpose?
A: The most important are to 1) discover you. Take the time to get to know who you are, what your temperament is, what are your likes, dislikes, passions and pains. God created you very unique (Psalm 139:13), so to understand your purpose, you must understand how you're made. 2) Discover God. Without an understanding of who God is, you will never find purpose. You may find something you enjoy or get paid well to do it, but there will always be something missing. In order to live a life of peace and purpose, it's crucial to have a personal relationship with the God who created you.
About the author:
Kris Reece holds a Ph.D. in Christian Counseling and a Master’s Degree in Theology. She is a Christian Life Coach, Counselor, Motivational Speaker, Evangelist and author of three books as well as a contributor to the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series. For more information, visit www.KrisReece.com.
Endorsements:
“Make It Matter is a must-read for anyone who wants to determine the special gifts, talents and abilities God has placed in you, and finally figure out how to go about fulfilling His purpose for your life.” — Gloria Gaynor, Grammy Award-winning recording artist
“I've seen dozens of books about finding your purpose in life—but none as well thought as this new release from Kris Reece. Wow! She created a practical coaching guide to walk you through all of the tough questions and key issues to build a life that matters. If you're tired of struggling through the same old stuff, pick up Make it Matter - A Roadmap to Living a Life of Purpose. You'll be changed and then you can use these practical insights to change others.” — Dwight Bain, Coach, Counselor and Change Agent, Winter Park, FL
“Kris presents dynamic concepts through a practical approach that meets people right where they are. She will both challenge and encourage you to believe that you can live a more abundant life.”
--Jonathan Papa - Senior Pastor, Life Source Church, West Orange NJ
“This is a book that I will read again and again, taking more notes each time! Allow it to help propel you into walking in your divine authenticity, while making every moment count for a greater purpose!” --Pierre LaMar Johnson, Consulting Executive Pastor and Strategist, Cedar Grove, NJ
“I've seen dozens of books about finding your purpose in life—but none as well thought as this new release from Kris Reece. Wow! She created a practical coaching guide to walk you through all of the tough questions and key issues to build a life that matters. If you're tired of struggling through the same old stuff, pick up Make it Matter - A Roadmap to Living a Life of Purpose. You'll be changed and then you can use these practical insights to change others.” — Dwight Bain, Coach, Counselor and Change Agent, Winter Park, FL
“Kris presents dynamic concepts through a practical approach that meets people right where they are. She will both challenge and encourage you to believe that you can live a more abundant life.”
--Jonathan Papa - Senior Pastor, Life Source Church, West Orange NJ
“This is a book that I will read again and again, taking more notes each time! Allow it to help propel you into walking in your divine authenticity, while making every moment count for a greater purpose!” --Pierre LaMar Johnson, Consulting Executive Pastor and Strategist, Cedar Grove, NJ